


'Tell Her You Have Cake'

by Sketchione



Series: Cake, Chaos, Crests, and Choices [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Bernie is my life, Cake saves the day, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Fluff, Food, Future romance?, Imaginary Friends, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lighthearted, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, cats everywhere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-09-25 08:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20374129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sketchione/pseuds/Sketchione
Summary: In which Byleth hears of a student who isolates herself from everyone and decides to bring her food. She's adorable and Byleth hopes to see her again. Sothis just wants her companion to stop fishing.Claude thinks she'd be a great fit for the Golden Deer (and isn't just trying to get one over Edelgard despite what he protests)





	1. Chapter 1

For people who clearly didn’t get along with each other very well, Hanneman and Manuela sat together in the dining hall an awful lot. It was true that it was proper form and an example to set to the students that the professors were getting along, but still. Byleth could see from her place in the queue to the soup cauldron that the animosity was barely contained tonight, the normally intoxicating aroma of pickled herring doing nothing to distract from the show.

_Worse than usual, _she mused. _What is it this time? Crest research is ‘all you ever talk about’? Trying to sleep with the Stablekeeper is a poor example to set?’ ‘You’re an old partypooper!’ Those two are in interesting pair. _

The queue was long enough to the point where a young woman known as Petra had taken most of the soup, such was her prerogative, and her fellow professor’s ‘dialogue’ was beginning to simmer down. Byleth turned to scour for anything left that wasn’t fish, but the boy from her own house, Raphael, playing clean-up of what was left. He shot her a goofy grin when he noticed her staring.

“Sorry professor, a guys gotta eat to maintain these muscles!”

She raised an eyebrow but couldn’t stay mad at him, he was just too earnest. The Golden Deer in general had that in spades which was mostly the reason she’d picked that house over the others. That and the lack of stuffy nobles, if she was able to forget Lorenz’s mountain sized ego.

_‘Fish again then. I need to stop being late to the dining hall every day’_

** _‘Well maybe if you didn’t spend every waking minute by the fishing pond we wouldn’t have to! For someone who doesn’t even like fish it’s a little weird, you have to admit. We’re sharing this body you know so get us things we like!’_ **

Byleth rolled her eyes at the voice in her head, making her way to the professors table.

_‘It’s either that or gardening, Sothis, take your pick.’_

** _‘At least you can plant more than one thing at a time in the greenhouse.’_ **

_‘Then wait for them to grow for a week or so. I don’t suppose we can use your divine pulse to speed time up and…’_

**_‘Forget I said anything!’ _**Byleth could hear the pout and smiled gently. Winding her up, whoever she really was, was more entertainment than she’d had in the past 20 or so years and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could. ‘**_Oh_** **_look it’s your favorite colleagues. Go say hi for me.’ _**Definitely pouting. Byleth set her dish of suspiciously smelling fish stew down (wrinkling her nose for the umpteenth time) and pulled up a chair.

“Hello you two, getting along as well as ever I see.”

Manuela rolled eyes, looking away, while Hanneman crossed his arms.

“You don’t know the half of it, professor! You’ve only been here just under a couple of months and Manuela and I have yet to settle our differences from many years ago.”

“Differences is too small a word, Hanneman,” Maneula articulated. “More so, insurmountable barriers.”

“Why, of all the…”

“Professors, how many of the student’s attentions are you trying to get? Call it even and eat before Raphael or someone else comes and asks for your plates.”

The two of them ‘hmphed’ away from the other, not exactly scowling but far from neutral. Out of the corner of my eye Byleth could see Claude and Hilda giving me a thumbs up from the so called ‘Deer Table’. Byleth resisted the urge to scowl to herself and instead mimed writing their grades on the table in front. Not the most threatening thing in the world as evidenced by their giggles but it did get them to turn back around to the others. She could’ve just sat with them, her age (whatever it was exactly) was fairly close to theirs and she’d done it enough times. Still, she’d committed now, as vexing as her colleagues could be. Individually they were interesting enough people but together it quickly degenerated into squabbling, for want of a better term.

“So what’s the topic of today then?” She admittedly didn’t care all that much, expecting the same old same old. Anything to put off eating the stew. Was that a fish eye? Yuck.

“A student actually,” Hanneman answered, giving up on his soup. Byleth did consider taking it or trading but…germs. Still, she raised an eyebrow at this. Not the usual antics then.

“Oh?”

“Yes, a Black Eagles girl by name of Bernadetta. Mousy young thing really,” Manuela mused. “Needs to stand up straight and project her voice. She’ll never get a boyfriend here with what she’s doing.”

“Ah yes because you’re the world’s leading expert of that front, Manuela. In the perfect position to be giving advice.” Hanneman looked so damn smug at the conclusion of that remark and the newest professor couldn’t blame him. A murderous look in her eye, the other professor looked just about ready to jump over the other side of the table and strangle the poor guy. The way Byleth had seen her fight on the battlefield she knew she could probably do it too.

“Calm, colleagues, no broken bones please.”

“You need a spine first in order for it to be broken,” Manuela muttered as she sank heavily back into her seat. Byleth was almost certain that her cup didn’t contain water the way she gulped it down.

“What was that, Manuela?”

“Nothing, Hanneman, or are you going deaf in your old age?” If looks could kill…again.

“So...uh…Bernadetta, what’s the story with her?” Byleth pushed the stew away. The many cats that roamed the monastery would be more than happy to take it off her hands. Besides, she could always try bribing that gatekeeper who seemed to like her to see if he’d get her some bread again. Hanneman sighed, sitting back too.

“A remarkable student really. Works hard, decent grades, incredibly talented with a bow if I do say so. Why I reckon if she trains for as long as Shamir has been she’d be a real force on the battlefield! All of this is of course no doubt because of her…”

“Here we go again.”

“…Her crest,” Hanneman finished, ignoring the interruption. “A minor crest of Indech, fairly uncommon, and coincidentally the same as mine. Fascinating really.”

“Oh give the kid a break,” Maneula supplied, her glass now empty, the contents apparently taking effect far quicker than it should have. She’d been drinking a while tonight already then. “Ever considered it’s just her hard work and fear of failure that drives her, not some mystical hoodoo.”

Eager to continue to keep some level of peace, Byleth deigned to interject.

“So what’s the issue here, really? I haven’t been around all that long but I can see we’ve got lots of promising students here this year. Lysithea’s magical prowess is barely begun but she’s already the star of my class. Marianne can calm a horse at twenty paces, Claude invented a way to poison someone days after the serum was given.

“Wait what?” Both of the other two were taken a little by surprise at that.

_I’d probably been better off not talking about the heir to the Leicester Alliance’s scheming._

“Anyway, point is we have lots of talent here. Felix will probably surpass Catherine one day I’m sure of it. What makes this Bernadetta so special?” A long silence.

“Well…nothing, really,” Manuela admitted. “Hanneman and I tend to fall out about everything and she just sort of came up in conversation so of course we argued.”

“Argued about what though?”

“Have you ever seen Bernadetta, Byleth?”

“Well…” It occurred to Byleth that no, she hadn’t. She hadn’t the faintest idea of what the girl looked like. “I don’t think I have, why? She isn’t in my house so that’s not so unusual is it?”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself more than us. Though Manuela and I may argue, it comes from a place of caring in this case. We’re both concerned for her mental health, you see.”

“Her…mental health?”

Manuela nodded. “You haven’t ever seen her, but I barely ever do either and she’s in my house. Outside of mandatory lessons she vanishes to be cooped up in her room all the time. All alone, it’s enough to make my heart weep for the poor thing.”

“Now don’t start, Manuela.” She shot Hanneman another look.

“Oh don’t pretend to be better, you know yours does too.”

“Well, weeps maybe isn’t the word but yes, I do care.”

“There are some students who just like to be alone from what I know,” Byleth chimed in. “I don’t ever see Dedue around anyone, except maybe Dimitri.” The two of them shared a look.

“That’s…”

“Probably for a different reason,” Manuela finished.

** _‘We should probably keep this in mind, I remember the phrase ‘Tragedy of Duscur’ being thrown around.’_ **

_‘Ah that does ring a bell, we’ll check the library tomorrow. After fishing._

** _‘You’re impossible’_ **

“…but Bernadetta just sort of…isolates herself.” Byleth hoped she hadn’t missed anything important with the minor interruption. Probably not. “It’s not right for someone her age. At night we sometimes get reports from other students hearing crying from under her dormitory door. All attempts to ask what the matter is get silence. We want to help but…’

‘We don’t know how,” Hanneman admitted. “That’s what were, ahem, discussing before you came over.” ‘Discussing’ was a barefaced understatement.

“She doesn’t come out for meals?”

“Not often, though officially that’s against monastery policy. Usually she just comes in after everyone has gone and helps herself to what’s left.”

Byleth took another hard look around the dining area. Not a lot left today by the usual standards. Her own stomach rumbling didn’t help on that front. A few pieces of meat and some patties, mixed in with cooked root vegetables. To the side there was the remains of large cake with most of its segments now missing, clearly the most popular item of the day.

“I should take some to her before it’s all gone here.”

“Isn’t that a little risky? She might not come out at all if people start bringing her things.” Hanneman did have a point after all.

“That’s true, but I’d rather one of our students eat properly than not at all.” Byleth was already standing though she didn’t remember doing so. “Thanks you two for bringing this to my attention.” The two just shrugged, clearly weary after arguing for so long.

“If you really think you can get through to her then sure.” Clearly disappointed she had nothing more to drink, Maneula made to stand too. Unsuccessfully, she wobbled and plummeted right back down. “On second thoughts I’ll sit for a while,” she mumbled. “Bit too much spinning.” Hanneman pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Of course there is, Maneula, of course there is.”

“Please try to get along,” Byleth said, taking a small bag out of her coat pocket. “The students look up to you both.”

“We know,” the both said in unision. Taking that as her leave, the newest professor made her way back over to the now mostly empty food tables. Dumping some of the vegetables and meat patties into the back seemed satisfying enough. On second thoughts, she quickly stuffed some more into her coat pockets for later. Not appetising by any means but it beat the stew any day of the week. Had anyone seen her do that? Byleth scanned the room surreptitiously. Of course Claude had noticed.

“Nice one, Teach! Classy like always!” One of these days she was going to accidentally flip off the future heir to the Alliance. At present she resisted the urge and instead waved noncommittally in his general direction. She turned to leave, but at the last second decided on bringing a slice of the cake with her as well.

_‘Who doesn’t like cake?’ _She herself hadn’t grown up with the stuff so didn’t care for it so much but she could see the appeal.

Bernadetta’s room wasn’t too hard to find. It was just a short walk from her own room, plus was the only one where the door didn’t mysteriously open if someone went near.

_‘Why do they get them to do that? Contraband checks? The monastery is strict about that sort of thing.’ _She walked up to the door. No sounds coming from the other side. Students weren’t asleep at this hour if their name wasn’t Lindthart so that wasn’t it. Writing maybe? Byleth knocked gently not wanting to startle the girl on the other side. It failed. There was a loud shriek and several crashes as the sound of someone scrambling to get away could be heard.

“P-please go away! I like b-being alone thank you!”

_‘She sounds adorable.’ _Byleth mused. _‘Adorable and scared’._

“It’s professor Byleth, Bernadetta.” More scrambling.

“Professor?! Oh…um…I thought you might be another student.” The voice seemed to relax slightly at this but was still obviously on guard. “I-I still don’t really know you all that well so…PLEASEDON’TAKETHISTHEWRONGWAY,” she gasped for air. “…can you leave…please?”

Byleth was a little stunned by the switch from normal conversation, to frantic outburst, to then a tone a mouse would have thought too quiet.

_‘An emotional person to be sure. As much as I’d like to make sure she’s alright in there I’d best play it safe’ _“Don’t worry I’m not staying, I just came to drop off some food for you. Thought you might be hungry.

“…Really?” If ever was a tone of genuine surprise and/or gratitude it could be heard in the student’s voice that permeated the door. “Wow, um, that’s really nice of you! I was just planning on going later like usual…”

“Most of it was gone today, Bernadetta. I wanted to make sure you got some.”

“…Oh. Well, you can just leave it outside if you like. I’ll come and get it when you’re…uh…not there. If that’s okay?” The professor had to cringe just a little. The tone was so pleading, desperate not to go outside.

“You can’t open the door and take it from me now?” She looked around, glancing around for any cats that would almost certainly make off with the meat patties. Thankfully all clear.

“L-like I said, I don’t r-really know you yet and I’m b-bad with new people!”

“You’re not going to get to know me if we never see each other, are we now?”

“…”

“…”

“…M-maybe some other time, you can keep the food if y-you like? Or leave it outside either one. What did you have…just curious?” Byleth sifted through the small drawstring bag. Things were on the verge of mushy as it was.

“Some mixed root vegetables and meat patties? They’re not going to keep for long you know.”

“Um…well…”

** _‘Tell her you have cake’_ **

“And I have cake too,” she repeated aloud.

“Really?? Ahem, I mean, really?” Now there was a reaction she hadn’t been expecting. The recluse liked sweet things. Really poorly disguised cravings, but cravings they were.

“Yep,” Byleth said with a grin. “And it’s just begging to be eaten! Wow, I could really go for another piece now that I think about it…”

“NO, I m-mean, no, please don’t!” A sigh could be heard from the other side, long and drawn out. “C-clearly this is a cruel, cruel joke someone has put you up to. Shame on you! Pester the recluse with things she likes, cake, sweets, books, stuffed animals.”

“You like stuffed animals?” _‘Definitely adorable’_

“H-hey, so what if I do? Why did I say that out loud?”

“It’s okay, you’re allowed. I’m going now but I’ll leave everything right outside your door okay?”

“You’re going…?” Byleth had already turned to leave, gently setting everything down on the cold of the stone. The setting sun had already sucked any remnants of the day’s heat away with it, leaving a shadow in its wake.

“I am. I hope we get to do this again some time.”

“I leave my room sometimes y’know!”

“I believe you.” Byleth smiled to herself, ready to head back to her own quarters.

“P-professor?” The voice stopped her again.

“Yes, Bernadetta?”

“T-thanks. For the food I mean…you can go now though!”

_‘What a strange young lady.’ _The sharp noise of a door quickly opening and slamming in quick succession startled her slightly. She span around to see, but the food was already gone. A briefest flash of messy, lilac hair had been the only indication anyone was ever there.

_‘Hungry too. Strange indeed, I hope I get to see her again’._


	2. A Ripple in our ideals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Byleth spends another afternoon fishing the time away and annoys Sothis with her apathy.
> 
> Claude thinks Bernadetta would be a good fit for the Golden Deer (and promises he doesn't just want to get one over Edelgard).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated to make this part of the main story instead of a standalone part, past me was clearly asleep when doing the organisation ^_^  
Apologies for those who already read/left Kudos!
> 
> Enjoy!

She’s fishing again when her mind drifts back to Bernadetta. Her boots kicking idly in the water, line bobbing peacefully, and soft breeze ruffling her hair…it was a perfect relaxation session.

**_‘Can you do ANYTHING but fish please I’m soooo bored of this!’ _**And then it was ruined.

_‘Just a couple more minutes, Sothis. Promise.’ _There was no reply and Byleth didn’t feel like pressing the issue past the point of complacency.

While Sothis always berated her for the abnormally long fishing sessions she indulged in it was an activity where Byleth felt most like herself. She could put up a decent act and banter with Hanneman, Manuela, Claude, and the rest of her house but it was just that; an act and nothing more. The great truth of the matter was Byleth knew she had great trouble communicating and connecting with other people.

Reading body language, responding appropriately, and engaging another person in conversation were all things she claimed no mastery over. Indeed they claimed a great deal of her energy just to be able pass as a normal person. Jeralt always dealt with that sort of thing back when they were mercenaries, there wasn’t any need for her to learn. A simpler time that the fishing brought her back to. She could be alone in public and yet no one would bother her.

The professor kicked her boots again in the pond water, grateful for their waterproofing. Her legs draped over the jetty edge she could smell dinner cooking from the steps up to the dining hall. Her favorite spot by far, and one where she’d camped out for the last two hours. This was much more ‘her’. Peace, quiet, no other people.

_‘I’ll go soon.’ _

Perhaps that was why she had decided to go with the Golden Deer over the others in the end? Though she was a novice when it came to other people she could spot an act a mile away on account of keeping her own up. Claude’s smile never reached all the way up and she could relate. Oh she could relate! He’d sensed it too, from her. A mutual understanding not to blow the other’s cover.

He could keep on being a happy-go-lucky people person instead of a person deeply questioning the teachings of the Church (a sin in and of itself) and future planning for the extremes. She could keep pretending she knew what was going on half the time and not be known as ‘The Ashen Demon’. That business with discussing Bernadetta with her colleagues the day before had already been her socialising quota for the week, yet for some odd reason the girl herself didn’t seem to contribute.

Byleth didn’t feel nearly as drained after speaking with the purple haired student, like she didn’t have to act. A lot of the stuff she’d just thought about acting and being left alone in a public place was, in all honesty, absolutely something Bernadetta would say. That was what she thought she would say anyway, being as they hadn’t actually spoken anymore words since the ‘cake incident’ as she mentally referred to it.

_‘Perhaps we are alike then. Kindred spirits. Two beans in a pod. What do you think?’_

**_‘It’s peas in a pod, idiot!’_** The face of Sothis shimmered into view at the water’s surface, rippling like the ghost she essentially embodied. A common sight to her now, she’d learned Sothis couldn’t materialise in the real world. Mirrors, water, reflections of any kind were the only glimpses of her travelling companion’s true form she’d been able to get outside of the room with the throne and the weird green light. It beat her being just a voice at least. Nice to know she wasn’t going crazy. Yet.

_‘Right, right. Of course.’_ Byleth cast her line again, nothing taking the bait this time. _‘Beans come in pods too right?’_

**_‘Ugh honestly! You’re right, you are a hopeless socialiser! Just because it’s logically true doesn’t mean it fits the human’s idioms.’_** The face warped into a frown, rippling gently with the wind, and Byleth was tempted to ‘accidentally’ shift her bait in that direction to break up the image. She knew that smug tone meant something vaguely humiliating. **‘_Or how about when you kept offering that boy Ferdinand different lost items you’d picked up off the floor until you gave him that was actually his? Most inappropriate if I do say so?’_**

“But why? I wasn’t sure which was his so I showed him everything,” she said aloud. “Honestly, why are people so clumsy here? I keep nearly tripping over the things everyone leaves behind. They wouldn’t last a day as a mercenary out in the world beyond Garreg Mach.”

**_‘True,’ _**Sothis mused, a hand coming into view at the surface to scratch her chin**_. ‘All you mortals are most perplexing in your own special ways. I think you’re my favorite though.’_**

“Is that because you don’t get a choice?”

**_‘You’re giving me far too little credit here! We may not see eye to eye sometimes…’ _**The girl eyed Byleth’s raised eyebrow pointed vaguely her way.**_ ‘…Alright a lot of the time then! I still feel a connection to you beyond that of a shared body. A strange kinship…is that strange?’ _**

Byleth glanced over at her fishing pail, half full of the days catches. A pity she didn’t like the taste of fish all that much but it was really more the process than anything else.

“I don’t think that’s strange. I like you, even if you can get in the way sometimes.”

**“_A compliment and an insult all in one, why am I not surprised at your ‘tact’? I don’t even have a body to get in the way with.” _**She sounded all too sad at that and Byleth couldn’t blame her. Being a glorified figment of her imagination must be hard to live with. **_‘I’ll try again.’_**

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

**_‘It’ll…it’ll be worth it.’ _**Sothis’s voice was considerably more strained now and the professor knew she was trying to force herself to appear in the physical world again.

“Please don’t, you slept for a whole day the last time.”

**_“I can do it! I, I CAN do it!” _**Sure enough, the flowing locks of green hued hair cascade into view above the water’s edge this time. **_‘Aha see! I can do it.’ _**Byleth eyed her warily, not sure how long the effort would take to exhaust her companion completely.

“You can. I believe you.”

Sothis examined herself in the pond’s reflection, kicking idly at the water to mimic Byleth.

‘**_A shame, my body is here but I cannot STILL cannot feel anything! I pass right through it_**.’ She kicked her leg in an exaggerated fashion in what should have caused a great splash of water. Her foot went right through. The jetty was no different, providing no resistance. **_‘Argh! Why can’t I do it?! I can rewind the fabric of time but I can’t feel the water beneath my feet at all! I-I just want to FEEL. I want to be real in this world as I am in your dreams.’_**

“You’re real to me,” Byleth bluntly added. Sothis rounded on her, the flickering image indicating she’d soon fade again.

**_‘Well of course I am!’_** She knew it was coming but it was still a little vexing. She let Sothis prove her point as she poked the professor’s nose with her finger tip. **_‘I can touch and feel you and nothing else! I’m not a ghost, I refuse to believe in such a meaningless existence.’ _**Her companion’s body faded once more as it had done so many times now. The face of Sothis reappeared with a frown, this time reflected in the glass of the bulletin board behind her. **‘_This is most annoying.’_**

“That’s a new record though, 23 seconds. You’re getting stronger. You didn’t pass out either.”

**_“Yippee,” _**the goddess huffed. ‘**_Though I suppose we both know how much difference three whole seconds can make, don’t we?’ _**Byleth instinctively rubbed the spot on her back with her free hand where the axe of Kostas had hit. Then it hadn’t but the feeling was still there. The shadow of death.

“Indeed.”

** _‘One day I’ll be able to appear in your world indefinitely, and not in a radius confined to you! Then I won’t have to watch you fish for an hour or two at the least on most days. Maybe I’ll go and eavesdrop on Hanneman, his crest research seems far more up my alley.’_ **

“You could help me grade the papers I set for the Golden Deer?” Byleth sighed, reeling her line in for the final time. The fish couldn’t see Sothis any more than the students could but they didn’t seem to be biting after her little show. “You’re very good at pointing out errors and thinking critically.”

**_‘Butter me up all you want, I’m just saying the old guy might have some insight into why things are the way they are with us.’ _**_S_he paused. **‘_But thanks, I actually do enjoy reading those over your shoulder. The way Hilda thinks she can get away with copying Ignatz or Marianne just by switching some words around is most amusing to me!’ _**

Byleth could hear her stifling a chuckle and knew she’d succeeded in lightening the mood. Maybe she wasn’t a total social failure after all?

\----

“Hey Teach, where’re you going?” It was always going to be Claude.

“To my room.” Dinner had ended once again, this time more promising than yesterday. She’d dumped her fish off but this time made sure to get in the queue ahead of the usual troublemakers such as Raphael and Petra. One hearty serving of ‘mystery meat pie and spiced vegetable’ and she was good as done. She’d kept some fish in her pockets (to Sothis’s disgust) for the monastery cats to have on the way back to her quarters. When she was done at the monastery she’d maybe take one with her if it seemed so inclined to follow.

The heir to the Leicester Alliance was propped up against the notice board in the hall outside the dining area, and was clearly unconvinced judging by his signature smirk.

“Oh, really? Your room and no one else’s?” He twirled an arrow idly clearly expecting a negative.

“You had worked set a couple of days ago which I have yet to grade,” Byleth stated in what she hoped was an authoritative tone. Even with her heeled boots she wasn’t as tall as him so it came across more as Sothis did to her, and as Lysithea did to…mostly everyone.

“You’re adorable when you try, you know that?” She resisted the urge to flip him off again, she knew he’d get a kick out of it. He stepped away from the wall, coattails drifting behind as he stepped closer. “Word on the street is you’re thinking of trying to recruit Bernadetta for the Golden Deer, eh? Good choice!”

“Okay that was _yesterday _I spoke to her for the first time!” Byleth said, rounding on him. “How did ‘the street’ know so quickly? I’d only just thought of the idea during dinner!”

It was true, the idea was so simple she could assert herself as a self-made genius. Hanneman found her problematic, and the purple haired recluse could probably do with a different teaching style! Claude was, as much as she didn’t want to see the smugness at the admittance, one of the best bow users at the academy and she could learn a lot. In turn she could teach everyone the art of stealth. As she heard from Manuela that morning, verified by other students of the Black Eagles, Bernadetta’s ability to sneak out late at night undetected to gather food was unparalleled. A true hidden talent waiting to blossom. Claude’s shit eating grin was too much to bear.

“Actually I made that part up about the street! I just guessed and wanted to see if I was right. Turns out I was.”

**_‘Why do you always fall for that? I’m going to have to give you lesson’s on social cues you know and I’m not even human!’ _**Byleth did her best to ignore Sothis getting all high and mighty on her. _Two _smug kids was something she really didn’t need.

“Lucky guess, I think she’d be a real asset though.”

“Oh I’m sure she would!” Claude leant back against the wall, pocketing his arrow. How deep were those pockets anyway? Hers still had fish in. “She’s supposedly great with a bow when she actually shows up. Plus it’ll give us both a chance to brag to Edelgard that we’re that much more desirable than she is, right?” Two could play at that game and Byleth only had to raise an eyebrow for him to falter. “Okay well maybe mainly me but the point stands.”

She leant back against the wall next to him, staring off to the opposite wall. They did this sometimes when they needed to be honest with each other. She wasn’t sure how it had started or why it worked but it did so she was going to keep doing it. She could have her normal, blank face on for this. They settled into a rhythm of breaths, broken only by the odd monk or priest with business passing them by.

_‘It would feel pretty great.’ _She thought. _‘Edelgard is a little full of herself. Hard worker, but full of herself.’_

“I have to convince her to join us at all,” she said aloud. “I did only ‘meet’ her yesterday you know. It’ll take to time.”

“I don’t doubt it but if there’s anyone for the job it’s you.”

“…”

“…”

“…I still don’t get how you guessed so easily what I was going to do.”

He laughed, tugging his brilliant yellow sleeves slightly.

“Never reveal all your cards at once. Call it a hunch.”

“Claude.”

“Fiiine, take the mystery out why don’t you?”

“…”

He sighed, dropping his act a little. She liked it when he was honest like that. This was the real him she wished he’d show to his classmates. Not everyone had to be outgoing all the time. Bernadetta herself was testament to that.

“You’re a really good teacher, Teach. Your lessons are short and to the point. They’re not filled with useless waffle like Hanneman or random tangents about cute guards like Manuela’s. I haven’t been listening personally by the way, as hilarious as that would be.” She smiled at that. Sure he wouldn’t. “Bernadetta is a special kind of person, one who I really think could benefit from your style of teaching. Even though I’m not sure what goes on in that head of yours yet, there’s a warmth behind your words that inspires people to work as hard as they can. Gentle but firm, and reasonable homework to boot. Even Hilda does it…sometimes,” he added, noting her blank look. “The point is I think she’d be a good fit with us, the Black Eagles are far too stuffy for someone like her. She’d be like a new family member for our ragtag bunch! Imagine it!”

Byleth could imagine it, and it sounded good. She could Bernadetta getting along with people, after she stopped hiding underneath her books anyway. She knew Leonie liked to sew, even if only for practical reasons. It was common ground at least, and that was all they needed to be friends. Marianne could use another quiet influence.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

He cocked his head to hers, still leaning.

“What do you mean, Teach?”

“I mean why do you think Bernadetta specifically would be great for the Golden Deer? There’s hundreds of students here. What makes her different in your eye?”

“Ah, Teach,” he said, shaking his slowly. “I never know what’s going to come out of that mouth of yours. You seem like such a novice and then you go and ask things like that. Have I been the one played all along?”

**“_You’re telling me, are you an idiot or not? I’d like to know if I’m the one that should be getting be lessons now! You’re so strange, you specifically. Not the mortals, you.”_**

“I’m not sure of it myself,” she admitted. “It seemed like something I should know before trying anything.”

“You’ve got me there.” He sighed again. “I’ve never met her father, Count Varley, in person but I know people who have and…he doesn’t seem like the most pleasant person in all of Fodlan. Apparently he was always trying to marry Bernadetta off before she was even of legal age.”

“There are lots of nobles with bad parents, probably more bad than good on the whole honestly.”

“That’s true. I have dreams it won’t be like that one day. A new Fodlan.” Even with his guard done he was still so hard to read. A longer sigh this time. “Teach I don’t know if I…” he looked troubled, pained almost. “I don’t know anything concrete just that Bernadetta has had a tougher life than many. Most people didn’t even know Count Varley had a daughter until she appeared at the academy. It was only rumours and whispers about a recluse that happened to live in the same house as him.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Byleth frowned at that. No sense at all. “If he was trying so hard to marry her off to everyone why are people surprised to learn he has a kid?”

“Yeah that’s the thing. No one knows. Maybe he just stopped trying? Again, just rumours about what he did to try and fit her into his ideals but none of them are good. If he wasn’t one of the highest ranking ministers in the Empire I’m sure he’d be gone by now…and people say the Alliance is corrupt. Just look at Count Gloucester.”

“Isn’t…isn’t that Lorenz’s father?” Claude winced jokingly.

“Ah you got me, don’t tell him I said that though. I’ll never hear the end of it.” He stood up to go, pulling his teacher up with him. “Whatever I said about Gloucester or Varley, you didn’t hear from me. Let Bernadetta come to you in her own time. It’s odd but lots of people seem to come to you with their problems, me included. If she knows you already know she’ll run away probably. Petra says she’s like scared rabbit.”

“Scared rabbit, right. One who likes cake.”

“That’s the one!” Claude started to walk off, inconspicuously not in the direction of his dormitory room. “I know you can do this, Teach,” he said, slipping easily back into his other persona. “Make the Deer proud!” 

“Yeah…sure!” She called after him. He was already gone.

** _“Such a strange young man.” _ **

“He really is.” All that stuff her house leader had said about her potential recruitee weighed heavily on her mind. “Just what was Count Varley doing that turned her into…this?” Byleth cast her mind back to yesterday when she’d first ‘met’ the girl through the wall. So timid and easy to scare. This wasn’t like Marianne or her demeanour. She liked to be left alone and was generally quiet but she suspected entirely different reasons for that. For Bernadetta it just seemed like an inbuilt instinct, a defence against harm of some sort. She didn’t know why but that personally got to her. Parents were supposed to protect their kids, not flaunt them around on a stick for people to pick and choose.

Jeralt was the best damn parent she could ever ask for, even if she had great trouble expressing it to him sometimes. He knew. He knew.

He was right to keep her away from the influence of people like that, it made her blood ache with something she couldn’t describe. It wasn’t as strong as anything as harmful as rage or pain or anger, but it sat just below the surface of her mind, a prodding force that compelled her to act. She w_ould _bring Bernadetta into the Golden Deer, Hanneman and Manuela just lacked the tools to best nurture the lavender haired student’s growth. She wasn’t entirely sure herself how she was going to manage it but she’d already decided it was going to happen so it _was_ going to happen. Byleth eyed the now emptying dining hall.

_‘More cake should be good start.’_

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to give this story a more loose feel, not even really a cohesive story at all and more a collection of smaller ones that make up the year.
> 
> The voice of Claude, Joe Zieja, is currently playing through Three Houses (Golden Deer routre of course) and one of the first things he said was that he wanted to recruit Bernie because she's adorable. I mean if you're not going to believe what I'm saying then believe Claude himself! Can't ignore it, has to be done ^_^
> 
> The fishing mechanic eats up so much of my time, thank goodness for New Game+  
More of a slow burn than I originally intended but I like it at this pace honestly. Give the characters room to breathe and grow!
> 
> Thanks for reading, folks!


	3. The Advice Giving Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bernadetta doesn't feel like leaving her room to eat, and has a conversation with an imaginary friend. 
> 
> Byleth deals with the rowdiness a lesson with the Golden Deer entails, but drops in to see her student at lunch.

_‘Alright Bernie, you can do this! I believe in you! It’s going to happen!’ _Bernadetta stayed decidedly where she was. _‘Any second now you’re going to get up, walk to the door, open it, and then go to the dining hall.’ _The door was further away than should have been legally allowed and the young woman made no attempt to change that fact.

“M-maybe if I say it o-out loud…?” Bernadetta cleared her throat, the dust from the books Lindhardt had let her borrow (or rather held out as she ran away) catching her off guard. One coughing fit, and a stuffed animal snuggle to cheer herself up, later and she was set to try again. “You can d-do this, Bernie. Step outside and take a few steps! Everyone does it!” Her voice caught again, but this time tinged with the slightest hint of fear. Everyone but you anyway…AAAAUGGGHH!”

The lavender haired girl threw her pillow against the wall in frustration. It landed with a dull thud and she immediately felt bad.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled to the rabbit toy she’d been hugging. “Didn’t mean to startle you like that. It’s just…outside is where everyone else is. I don’t like going out there unless I have to. It, um, makes me scared, that’s all.” Bernadetta hugged her knees against her chest, cradling her dearest friend gingerly. “Inside is where I am, and you too! I don’t really need to go outside, do I?” Ever the active imagination, she imagined the response the doll would give. A gruff, captain’s voice which definitely didn’t match the cutesy rabbit design but in a Bernie way she felt it made sense.

“You don’t have any food in here, you know? Food is outside too, not just people.”

“I-I know…” She placed the rabbit away from her at the foot of the bed. “Even in my imagination I can’t get you to agree with me.”

“It’s because I’m right, and you know you’re right too.”

“Yeah.” She still made no attempt to rise. Even the thought of the sumptuous pillow she’d flung away not being on the bed anymore wasn’t enough to sway her.

“It’s nearly lunchtime and you haven’t left your room today,” the rabbit continued. “If you hurry you can get to the hall before classes are dismissed. No people.”

“I know you’re...**I’m…**right and that’s the worst part. It always is, always has been.” Bernadetta didn’t consider herself to be a strong person, far from it, but she held back any tears she may given. Small victories like that made her feel at least somewhat capable. “I ate last night, t-that’s good enough, right?” She grabbed her friend again and wiggled the head back and forth slightly to mime a ‘no’.

“Definitely not. That was when Professor Byleth came and brought you a nice big slice of cake, among other things wasn’t it?” Bernadetta’s heart jumped a little. Of all the people at the monastery, the Professor was the one she understood the least, yet trusted the most. She was so needlessly kind to her. Everyone else too, she mentally checked herself. There was nothing special about herself.

“It was.” She’d interacted with Byleth only a few times now, but she’d seen her from afar more than that. “I’m n-not spying though. I just don’t want her to see me face to face is all. This way is better.” The rabbit disagreed but Bernie blotted him out of her thoughts. “She’s kind to me and she’s visited me here way more than she’s had to. I don’t want her to get to know me at all or she won’t come back! I don’t have anything going for me except the door in the way…”

Bernadetta let herself get carried away into imagination land; food could wait just a little longer. She didn’t entirely believe herself useless in EVERY aspect, but there was no way ever, not ever, she’d ever show anyone the sketches she’d been doing. Sewing was one thing but sketching could be done in the moment and capture something quickly. Among the list of things she wouldn’t ever show anyone, she especially wouldn’t ever, EVER, show anyone that she had a few rough sketches that she actually considered good:

Byleth in the gardens observing the apple tree. Caspar leaning on a sleeping Lindhardt. Byleth clashing swords with a training dummy (with a couple of stick figures representing the Golden Deer behind her). Tomas helping Lysithea get a book down from a high shelf. Byleth and her father at dinner together. Petra and Claude sitting on top of a tree. Byleth correcting Sylvain’s posture. Dorothea and Professor Manuela by the classrooms. Byleth fishing by the pond.

“Okay maybe I have a few more of her than any one person.”

“She’s in at least half of the drawings, Bernie.”

“It’s just she’s so…so…I don’t know how to describe it, Mr Rabbit,” she admitted. “She’s so blank on the surface, like a mirrored, still, pond. It’s like she’s disconnected from the whole world around us.” Bernadetta thumbed over a sketch of Byleth perched on a cloud overlooking a map of Fódlan. “High above the world, looking down. Is that weird? It’s weird right?! I’m weird for drawing it!”

“I think it’s got a charm to it. She might like it? Probably don’t show it to her just yet though,” the rabbit backpedalled, clearly influenced by the girl shaking her head vigorously back and forth. “At least you finished that one.”

“Huh? Oh.” Hidden behind that drawing was one of Hubert, Edelgard, and Ferdinand together on a bench. It was such a rare occasion to see them getting along that Bernie had taken a seat on the grass a short distance away and began to sketch. Of course Hubert being the way he is, noticed her, and made to march over. Bernadetta was long gone by the time he’d stood up, fleeing in terror. Hubert was the one person save her father who truly terrified her. Except Edelgard on occasion. Speaking of, the rabbit clearly had strong opinions on the matter.

“You’ve already skipped class today and you know how Edelgard gets about that.” Bernadetta didn’t even try to suppress a shiver. So much for been strong today.

“She’s so strong, but scary too! I-I don’t want to disappoint her but…she should respect my boundaries more! Besides, I…”

“Go on,” her toy encouraged.

“I feel…weird around her. Like she’s putting on a show.” She hugged her knees tighter and eyed the door. Next to her toy rabbit in that moment, of the two, the human girl looked more rabbit like, wide eyed and fearful. “Ack! She didn’t hear me right?? That was so mean! Stupid, Bernie, stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, just speak your mind, you’re safe in your room, remember?”

“Y-yeah…I am.” She let her posture droop, content with her friend’s advice. “Thanks for reminding me.” Her animal said nothing, just prompting her to continue. “It’s like she’s always expecting everyone to turn on her any second. She’s evaluating me and everyone else, I can feel it. It’s not an act like Dimitri or Claude she’s just…constantly prepared. It’s really scary, I’m sorry Mr Rabbit. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about my house leader or drawing a Professor without their permission! It’s…it’s…” She genuinely didn’t have the words for it so she didn’t try.

_‘Pathetic’ _certainly came to mind but even that was too grandiose. It made her too important almost. Her father would use the phrase ‘dully obscene’ if he ever acknowledged her.

_‘Unmarriageable.’ _Bernadetta instinctively curled herself into a ball, clutching at her wrists. She could still feel the ropes cutting into her whenever she said that, awful, yet in her own mind accurate, phrase her father loved so very much. He loved it more than her. So much for staying strong, she could feel the tears, hot and wet, staining her toy and her bedspread with it.

_‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean to…’_

_‘Shhhh, let your emotions out, my Lady. I’ll stand guard until you’re done.’_

_‘Thanks, Mr Rabbit. Y-you’re a good friend.’_

Bernadetta might have been a nervous wreck but she was no fool, she knew her father didn’t love her, nor did she want him too. A vile, cruel man, who only wanted to mould her into a perfect subservient wife. Her mother was no better, but at least carted her off to here instead of letting her fester at home. Now she was festering here instead.

She stayed curled up for the next twenty minutes. The pillow forgotten, and the gnawing sensation hunger presenting its teeth evermore as time wore on, yet Bernadetta made no attempts to move. This way was definitely better than going outside.

\-------

“…look I’m just saying, Lorenz, that your interpretation of the playing field completely contradicts that of Nohr’s established politics.”

“Ah of course, because we have so much information to go off of for one of the two **_mythical _**kingdoms, don’t we? Fine deductions, Von Riegan.”

“I’m glad you agree, now…”

“Wait that is _not _what I was suggesting Claude!”

The argument had been going back and forth for the entire lesson and Byleth saw no reason to intervene, although her choice of lesson topic of ‘Battle Tactics of the Hoshidan army during the incursion at the Bottomless Canyon’ might have been a bit too advanced for her only beginner level students.

There were barely any historical texts of the times and many entities, the Church of Seiros included, considered the kingdoms of Hoshido and Nohr to be nothing more than legendary placeholders for something else. Still because it wasn’t set in stone, Byleth reasoned, it meant that discussion, opinion, and interpretation would all be at the forefront. As the new professor surveyed the rowdy mess that was supposed to pass off as her classroom, she was beginning to think Jeralt was right.

_‘Maybe having a detailed lesson on battle tactics was redundant at this stage?_ _They’ve not even seen real combat yet.’ _

It was true, she’d only just gotten her mission from Rhea about Zanado, the Red Canyon. Still, debating and adapting to new information as it was presented was a valuable skill. That was the idea anyway. The chaos that had befallen the Golden Deer Classroom was likely more than a little far from the constructive discussion she had hoped for. Lorenz was backing up and refuting he’d ever agree with his House leader, while Claude seemed to be leaning towards fanning the flames than actually debating the point. Each student had supporters and detractors of course.

Raphael was confused at why the some of the Nohrian Army was fighting itself and allied with Hoshido, and no amount of explanations from Lysithea that Crown Prince Xander opposed Iago due to theorised ‘personal reasons’ was convincing him. Ignatz was more interested in guessing what sort of goddess or god they worshipped, Leonie was butting in what Captain Jeralt would probably have done (and would have done so much better than anyone thank you very much), and Marianne looked as though she’d rather be anywhere else. Hilda had slipped out of the class in the confusion, though Byleth suspected she wouldn’t abandon her best friend for too long.

In fairness the noise was reaching atrocious levels and Byleth was sure the Golden Deer would start to attract attention from the Blue Lions who were only a wall away. Sylvain, newly recruited from said House, looked right at home though. As if reading her thoughts, he yelled over the din:

“It beats listening to Manuela tell us another sob story, Professor! Plus Lysithea’s kinda cute when she puffs up like that…”

“Hey that’s my line!” Claude couldn’t contain his snicker when Lysithea rounded on the two of them.

“Honestly! With Sylvain here it’s like having another one of you around, Claude! Insufferable idiocy really.”

“I think you’ll find you meant ‘Admirable idealist’”, he exclaimed, though his trademark Cheshire grin was still plastered all over his face.

“No our dear Lysithea definitely had ‘idiocy’ correct,” Lorenz clarified. “And having Sylvain here is certainly not ideal.”

“You’re just jealous I do your job better than you.”

“Ah so that’s what better passes for, if you are referring to yesterday’s…outing.”

Sylvain quickly shrank back in his seat, running a hand through his already unruly fiery hair.

“Ahh, I thought we agreed to keep that one on the down low. It was one time!”

“Hmmm, I find that hard to believe.” Of course Lorenz would twist the knife in, Byleth observed, but it was hardly unwarranted. She was 90% sure it was the reason the Blue Lions student had been so quick to jump ship in the first place. The other Golden Deer members chimed in with their agreements, some jovial, some cynical, but agreements none the less. At least they were quieter now; Byleth took the opportunity to regain control.

“So what have we learned, everyone?” Dead silence.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“That Nohr didn’t like Hoshido? Also why did Odin and Niles show up so late? Did they get lost?”

“Ughhhh!” Lysithea groaned, head in her hands. “How are you still not getting this, Raphael?”

“I can’t think on an empty stomach you know! We’re so close to lunch as well!”

“B-but…You…YOU’RE EATING RIGHT NOW! I SEE THAT SANDWICH IN YOUR POCKET!”

“That’s just food to make sure I can make it to the next meal.” Raphael sheepishly tucked it away again, but not before taking another bite. Hilda, now back in the classroom somehow, pulled a face as a sticky residue seeped out and on to his trousers and desk as he did so. “Oops, my bad!”

“AGGHGH!!!” Okay Claude and Sylvain were right, Lysithea really could be objectively considered adorable when she got mad, Byleth reasoned. Eager to prevent a Segway into another cacophony, she asked her question again.

“Does anyone else have anything to add?”

“That Sylvain finds you more attractive than Professor Manuela?” If Sylvain had been drinking any sort of liquid at the present moment Leonie had offered her opinion, he would have almost certainly choked.

“T-That’s not true! I mean…” With Byleth’s unwavering gaze focused on him Sylvain couldn’t really tell if he was being judged or not. “Well you _are _pretty attractive but that’s not why I…”

“Oh save it, you cretin,” Lorenz was dabbing at his brow with an undoubtedly very expensive handkerchief. “The lesson is almost over anyway.”

“Don’t sound so happy, Mr Hellman Gloucester,” Claude remarked, leaning further back on his chair than should perhaps be done. “Anyone would think you don’t like us!”

Byleth tuned out the rest of the conversation. That word was too civil but it was the best she had for whatever was going on. Claude had been lying when he told her that the Golden Deer wasn’t particularly synergetic. Their hearts were in the right place though, she reasoned, she just needed to try different approaches and deduce what methods worked the best in their instruction. The practicals in the training grounds always fared better than the classroom antics anyway, so she’d already won half the battle. Picking a topic as difficult as the ‘Mythical Kingdoms’ was just a learning curve. Next time she’d pick something closer to home…

“Yo, Teach!” Byleth zoned back in only to find the classroom devoid of students, save for the class leader. She looked around, mildly confused. Claude picked up on it immediately because of course he would. “That bandit leader wasn’t lying when he said you had a blank stare was he?”

“Where did everyone go?”

“They left when the bells rang, and because you didn’t actually set us any homework they all scarpered. Guess they didn’t want to break you out of your trance just for that. Hilda said something about ‘leaving you be because you clearly work so hard’. It wasn’t very convincing but they didn’t need any push not to.”

“Your impression of Hilda is very good, Claude. You hit all the high notes.” He seemed pleased with himself which was nice.

_‘People respond well to praise. However knowing when to critique versus console is important too._ She’d never console Sylvain, who was actually very hard on himself when it came to studies, and lost his flippant attitude, but it would do someone like Bernadetta the world of good. _‘Bernadetta. I should check up on her. It’s lunch time after all.’_

“Uh, Teach?” Claude said, waving his hand in front of his professor’s face. “Not zoning out again are we?”

“No of course not, Claude. If you didn’t want the homework you should’ve left with your classmates. And that’s nine copies of the essay I was planning to set for me and…” She caught herself before accidentally betraying the presence of Sothis. Not that it really made any sense to anyone else. She was asleep in her thoughts at any rate.“…my thoughts, to mark.”

“Right.” His face was impassive but she could tell he was wondering about her minor slip up. “I was actually just wondering if you were going to see Bernadetta?”

“I was. What of it?”

“Nothing, just following the progress of my favorite teacher.”

“I’m your only teacher.”

“Sylvain transferred,” he countered.

“And House leaders can’t.”

“Ah you got me.” He held up his hands. “I actually spoke with her yesterday, believe it or not.”

“I do find that hard to believe.”

“Yep, it’s still true though. Dragged to the training grounds by Edelgard no doubt. She and I like the bow so we ended up trading tips. She’s actually very sweet, I can see why you like her. Knowledgeable too. Clothing repairs, maintenance et cetera are practical things. Good skills for a Deer.”

“Don’t do the…” Claude was already doing the motion he’d made up for the Golden Deer. His hands raised and cupped behind his head to mimic antlers, wiggling the fingers about.

“Hey, if we don’t have a sign how will anyone ever fear the Deer?”

“…I haven’t even met Bernadetta yet,” Byleth said, choosing to ignore his remark. “I’ve only ever spoken to her through a wall. I don’t know if I like her yet.”

“You keep bringing her food though.”

“She needs to eat. It isn’t healthy not too.”

“Airtight logic as always, Teach.”

“So…what do you really want?” Byleth walked over to the front desks, sitting on top of the nearest to leave Claude at the podium she’d normally be standing at. A reversal of the positions. He sighed a little.

“I think you have the right idea about getting people from other Houses involved. Sylvain might be a skirt chaser but his heart’s in the right place, I know it is. I think he might share some of my ideals honestly.” Byleth only raised an eyebrow so he continued. “I want lots of different people from lots of different backgrounds as part of our House, isn’t it a good template for the rest of Fódlan? Diversity and all that?”

“I don’t understand your point…but lots of different opinions regardless of standing is always a good thing.”

“That’s…basically the point I guess.” He flashed another grin. “Actually just hearing you continue to say things like that makes my days planning easier. Not everyone is so open minded.”

“So I’ve been told.” From her sheltered walk of life she hadn’t really encountered all that many people, which was true. The ones she did had been either bandits or mercenaries like her who she’d cut down without a thought. Interactions were her Father’s business. Obviously that was no longer the case. “What is all this for, Claude? Garreg Mach has lots of diversity doesn’t it?”

“In terms of people, you’re right.” He winced a little. “In terms of view point it’s a little more closed off…but baby steps amirite? We already have Sylvain, I think Bernadetta would fit in to the Golden Deer too.”

“After the noise of today that doesn’t seem likely.”

“Nah that was just an off day for all of us. We’re usually better.”

“…”

“That’s pretty much a yes coming from you.” He was already walking away towards the dining hall. “Don’t spend too long thinking or all the food will be gone!”

About that, he was right. Byleth made her move. She didn’t know if she liked Bernadetta yet, but she did want her in the House. She was a sweet person from what she’d gathered through the door, this time she hoped she’d get a little more than a slab of wood with a voice.

She glanced into her satchel, a little stuffed paw poking out of the top. She had the perfect thing to get the ball rolling.

\---------

The knock at her door startled Bernadetta out of her stupor. She rubbed her eyes.

_‘Did I fall asleep?’ _

“Bernadetta are you in there?” The voice sounded as if they clearly knew the answer but had asked anyway.

_‘O-oh it’s Professor Byleth!’ _Bernadetta whipped around to her stuffed rabbit for answers but it stayed silent. _‘Come on you never have any ideas when I really need them! I can’t let her see me like this! Even if I don’t open the door it’s embarrassing. Maybe if I just stay quiet she’ll go.”_

The rumble of her stomach was both a blessing and a curse it turned out.

“I can hear your stomach, you know. I’ve brought food with me again. A gift as well.”

“F-for me? A gift? Really??” Bernadetta caught herself before she got carried away. “You shouldn’t have, you can give it to someone else! They’ll like it more, I promise!” She could hear the woman on the other side of the door chuckle lightly.

“I don’t think so somehow. It’s a gift just for you, and no one else. I picked it with you in mind.”

“…” So many thoughts came into the student’s head at once she all but fell to the floor with dizziness.

“Bernadetta? I heard a thump? Are you alright?” Though the voice held concern it seemed a mile away from her room.

“For…me…? Like not just a random whim?”

“…Yes? Isn’t that what a gift is all about?” Bernadetta focused, pursing her lips. Gifts in her experience were things suitors gave as a minor pleasantry. A thing to be forgotten and discarded, just like her when they realised how incompatible they inevitably were with her. She jumped up, her mind still spinning and pointed a shaky finger at the door.

“Oh no I’m not falling for that one! You’re just trying to win my favor and get me to open the door! Well I’m not budging, I’ve got you all figured out, Professor!”

“I think you’re exaggerating slightly,” Byleth said with a frown.

“I’ve got it all worked out! I’ve…I’ve figured…everything…out…” Bernadetta’s legs gave way, stress and lack of nutrition finally cumulating in a panic attack.

“Bernadetta!” A sound like shattering glass and her Professor was suddenly inside her room, cradling her tiny body, but the lavender girl’s mind didn’t have the power to question how. Her door hadn’t even opened.

“Looks like…I failed…then…you saw…me…sorry.” Her lights were out just like that, and Byleth carried her over to the bed. She was shaking lightly, so the Professor swaddled her with the provided blankets, gently as she could.

“She’s so thin, Sothis.”

**_“She is, well done. Do you really think that was an appropriate use of Divine Pulse?” _**Sothis manifested in the girl’s water glass, the reflection allowing her entry to the world of the living. **_“Using otherworldly power to catch her before she hit the floor. Hardly an emergency!”_**

“She fell face first and broke her nose before we went back. Taking her to infirmary would have only caused her more unnecessary stress and humiliation.” Her companion shrugged.

** _“What you say has merit, I suppose. And observe, her mind clearly shut itself off as a primitive defence against a stress threshold. What could have caused such an occurrence?”_ **

“Nothing good. I’ve only seen it in the mentally disturbed.” Byleth’s view of the world was almost exclusively that of a mercenary but that didn’t mean she didn’t see other people, even if she didn’t interact with them. She’d seen many a war veteran, heroes to many, fall off the deep end to the pressures (and realities) of war. “But she’s so young. What must her upbringing have been like?”

**“_How old are you again? Jeralt says you were born after the fire which makes you less than 20 years of age. Can’t say I believe him, but you seem well adjusted.”_**

“To fighting yes,” Byleth paused. “To people…no.” She brushed some of Bernadetta’s hair out of her face. The face in question was contorted into a permanent frown as she slept. “I don’t understand any of this.”

** _“I know that as well as any. Still, I believe your heart to be in the right place. Though irresponsible you did save this poor young girl a great deal of hassle. I’m sure she’ll thank you.”_ **

“Will she? She tried so hard to keep me out of here, to stop me seeing her properly. I don’t understand why. Claude has seen her, so have many of the students. Did I do something wrong for her to not want me to see her, Sothis?”

**_“I don’t have the answers you seek, Byleth,” _**her companion admitted.**_ “All the mortals are strange, but this girl more than many. I’ve come to believe she appreciates your gestures of food and kindness a great deal. She sounded genuinely happy in the past, I don’t know why she’s like this now.”_**

Byleth sat on the end of the bed, observing the young girl. She was so much smaller than she’d expected. Her face was full though, clearly youthful but there were already some lines developing from all the grimacing she’d inadvertently been doing. Now was no better with her visage locked in permanent turmoil. Byleth barely even noticed the rabbit that had fallen to the floor in the commotion until her boot brushed by it.

“Oh? Another lost item?” She gingerly picked it up. Though she was no expert in sewing, it was clearly well loved judging by the numerous different colours of thread that had been used to keep it together over the years. “She’s had this a while. It looks as old as she is.”

** _“A mangy rabbit recreation? I’ll never understand.”_ **

“It’s a facsimile for the real thing. Small things with fur tend to be popular with people. You can pet them, like so.” Byleth stroked the toy in the direction of the water glass. Sothis just rolled her eyes.

** _“It smells weird, but if it works, it works.”_ **

“It clearly does. Bernadetta has been repairing this time and again for a long while. She could have bought a new one hundreds of times over but she chose to keep this one.

Sentiment, they both thought. Neither understood it fully, but the girl sleeping in the bed did so Byleth tucked the doll under the covers with her. As if by instinct, the girl’s fingers curled around it, the frown becoming ever so slightly less prominent. Her fingers were so small, the professor could see them clearly now.

_‘Just like everything else about her. It’s like her growth has been stunted in some way.’ _

Her mind wandered to Lysithea. She knew her student was dealing with some very in depth problems because of twin crests, and that her growth was slighted because of that fact. To her knowledge, Bernadetta only had the one. That was according to Hanneman, and he was seldom incorrect about matters to do with crests.

Without thinking, she grasped the girl’s hand in her own, tracing the faint outline of Indech’s crest on the back of it. She checked the other hand but no crest appeared.

“It isn’t a crest influencing her then. So…what?”

** _“Malnourishment seems like an obvious conclusion, don’t you think? She’s barely taller than I am!”_ **

“You don’t need to eat, and you’re not stunted, just short.”

**_“Hey!” _**Her expressions softened when Byleth didn’t attempt to rise to her bait, still focused on the girl in bed. **_“It’s true though. Think about it.”_**

Byleth did, and again questioned what sort of upbringing Bernadetta had had. Claude had mentioned Count Varley and hadn’t seemed too enthused about him. He’d even said people didn’t know that he had his own daughter until she’d appeared at the academy.

“Claude said her father has been trying to marry her off for status and wealth for a long time. I wonder if…” It made her slightly ill to think about “…if he deprived her of food because she didn’t succeed in the ways he wanted?”

** _“You’re saying this girl’s father starved her for not getting married?”_ **

Byleth only nodded.

**“_Despicable,” _**Sothis uttered, shaking her head.

“It’s just a guess, though. I hope I’m wrong.”

** _“You seem to have good insight as mortals go. I fear you might be right after all.”_ **

Again no response. Byleth came to realise she still had the student’s hand in her grasp so made to let go. She’d checked for another crest and found none so there wasn’t any point anymore. The faintest of tugs made her hesitate. Though her eyes were closed, the unmistakable voice of Bernadetta could be heard, barely above a whisper.

“Please don’t…don’t go.”

“I thought you didn’t want to see me?”

“I wanted to see you, but I didn’t want you to see me. Figured…” The whisper trailed off. “…figured if you got to know me…you’d get bored and leave. Sorry…for pushing…you…away.”

“It’s okay. You’re a student, it’s my job.” Byleth paused, glancing over at Sothis, then back to Bernadetta. “…And I haven’t got bored of you, don’t worry.” This seemed to satisfy the sleeping girl, and she rolled over on her side, pulling Byleth’s arm with her.

** _“I don’t think she was even conscious. Her mind operating automatically, like a mirror to you.”_ **

“…She’s stolen my arm.”

** _“She has.” _ **

“But I need it.” Byleth didn’t attempt to move, lest she break the spell of silence that had befallen the room. “Bernadetta I need my arm back, there’s class in the afternoon.” If she could hear her teacher she didn’t acknowledge this in anyway, and continued to sleep. At least she was no longer frowning, a peaceful blankness having overtaken it. Byleth supposed that was something to be considered a victory.

**_“I can’t help you get your arm back.” _**Byleth closed her mouth, Sothis having already anticipated her question. She just sat there, one arm by her side, and the other tucked safely under the covers with the sleeping Bernadetta.

As the minutes dragged on and her back began to ache from the unnatural position she had found herself in, she decided to look for another way out. From under the cover she could feel the toy rabbit under there as well, as well as the surprisingly warm hand of the lavender haired student. This gave her an idea. Slowly bringing her satchel over to the bed with her boot, Byleth was able to use her free hand to rummage around inside for her salvation.

“There we go.” She lifted out the toy bear she’d come across in the halls. She’d asked around everywhere if he belonged to someone but no luck. Hilda had suggested it would make a great gift for someone who liked cute things and she’d taken it to heart (or whatever she had instead). It was definitely a nice item, a teddy bear with a little helmet and felted armour, but she knew Bernadetta would love him.

The tiny little cloth sword in his paw to ward off invaders completed the package. Byleth frowned again. She seemed to have enough of them in her dreams so a metaphorical guardian wasn’t the worst idea she could have had..

She gradually slipped the bear under the covers, prying it under the fingers of her ‘captor’ until it was replacing her hand. Bernadetta snuggled down further, the first smile Byleth had ever seen from her gracing her features however brief, returning to her pensive dreams as if it had never happened at all. Byleth decided the smile suited her, and was glad she’d essentially broken into the room unannounced.

Depositing the food she’d gathered from the dining hall on the desk at the front (thankfully none perishable), she wrote a small note explaining the situation to the sleeping student. She paused, then decided to go with her instincts. An invitation to accompany her class on their mission to the Red Canyon as extra help wouldn’t go amiss. Not an official recruitment but a chance to have her interact with the Golden Deer and gain some vital battle experience couldn’t go amiss…and she was free to refuse if she didn’t feel up to it. Byleth hoped she did. She couldn’t undo the hurt of the past but she could at least make sure she ate well while here at the monastery.

Byleth used a second divine pulse to leave the room without a sound. She’d noticed the door was creaky the first time she’d opened it anyway.

It was mid-afternoon before Bernadetta woke again, feeling much more relaxed than she’d done since coming to the monastery. She didn’t remember getting into bed, but it was warm and nice so she didn’t question it. Whatever was on her desk could wait. Drifting back off, beneath the covers, yet folded away into her dreams, another conversation was in flow.

_‘Greetings my good bear! Who might you be?’ Mr Rabbit inquired._

_‘My name is Sir Bear, a wandering knight around these parts.’ _With a little flourish the teddy bear bowed deeply. _‘I am here to protect the Lady BernieBear from harm, if you find that agreeable?’_

_‘My dear bear I’d love nothing more.”_

Though she was sure it was a coincidence, Bernadetta’s mind had given Sir Bear the voice of Professor Byleth. Just a coincidence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit too much fun writing this, I should stop.
> 
> Bernie has a love of stuffed animals and the 'knight bear' you find right outside is absolutely for her, can't convince me otherwise. I loved the idea of her pouring her heart out to an imaginary friend while hiding from everyone else just too good to pass up so I ran with it.
> 
> Lots of references to other supports such as Sylvain and Lorenz.
> 
> Also a reference to Fates chapter 17 on Revelation, where the Hoshidan Army is facing off against Iago and his forces in the Bottomless canyon. I found it such a weird chapter in that Xander/Leo shows up in turn 2, then Odin/Niles/Laslow/Peri on turn 3 (with Odin and Niles being absurdly under leveled for no reason). 
> 
> In Chrom's xenologue 'Before Awakening' he calls Hoshido and Nohr Mythical Kingdoms, so that combined with the former I figured it'd be a pretty advanced tactics lesson to give...so of course the Golden Deer screw it up as Revelation is so much harder than Three Houses on the whole. I know, meta right? Save your round of applause to the end ;)


	4. Interlude: Three-ish houses

Hey ho folks, just as a heads up I'm not dead (to my 2 readers and one raccoon who read this story ^_^), and that I've been in the hospital and unable to write for the past month or so! My arm is out of action for the time being so writing is sort of slow right now :(

However to bridge the gap I figured I'd offer some insight that my friend and housemate had watching me play Three Houses. She's never heard of Fire Emblem except when I've talked about it, or picked one of their fighters in Smash Bros so her opinions were quite...interesting! The following are direct quotes from her during the game.

1) 'Catherine is so obviously a lesbian, right? I mean everything about her character design and mannerisms SCREAM she's gay. You said there were gay options, like Dorothea and Lindhardt, are there any purely gay options...like girls or guys only? Catherine would definitely be one if that was in the game.' (From Catherine and Shamir's unique dining hall dialogue, and her Lysithea supports).

2) 'I don't want to be rude but that shop lady's voice is really annoying. The way she says "Thanks a bunch" and "Is that the one?" is just so weird. HOW CAN YOU STAND IT SO OFTEN!' (On Anna during the battle preparation screen. Glad to know even someone who doesn't know the gay can pick up on that meme).

3) 'I know you want to be gay with Claude, Sketchione, but maybe he's just metrosexual? I can see him being straight, he looks like he's a strong leader but that Hilda really gets him.' (On not appreciating I (and everyone else) wants Claude to be a bi option.

4) 'The Death Knight? This game went from 0 to 100 way the fuck too quickly!' (On the DK's first appearance in the holy tomb).

5) 'I feel like Dimitri is for the Normies? Like he seems very classical from what I'm seeing. Fallen Hero archetype, but I can see why people like him he's classically attractive too.' (On Dimitri. She would later say verbatim "He's just become shadow the Hedgehog now", when Dimitri says his infamous Go Away line).

6) 'I really like Annette's design, she's my favorite I think. The robes and staff just suit her so well, she looks cool!' (On Annette in the Gremory class with a magic staff).

7) Edelgard is one of the gay options to trick the fanboys? I can see it. She's not a horrible character, but she's got a pretty narrow mind like Rhea does. Neither of them can compromise.' (On Edelgard, Rhea, and the war).

8) 'This music is legendary!!! This map is so damn cool!' (On the final map on the Blue Lions route).

9) 'This guy is Winnie the Pooh, but jacked to hell. The other guy looks like he'd beat me down mentally.' (On seeing Raphael and Seteth).

10) 'Awwww! That was the sweetest thing I've ever seen, they're a really good match for each other!' (On Dorothea and F!Byleths S support).

11) 'I can see why you would marry Bernadetta. That support was uncomfortably real, and the voice acting is great, she just feels so...real.' (On Bernie and her B support with Byleth. Come on IS, give me Claude and Bernie bi options!)

Of course I'd end it on a Bernie note ^_^ but I digress. This was just a random snapshot of a friend watching me play who hadn't seen it and figured I'd share. Sorry for no official update so you can be mad at me now! It took me just under a week to type this out, so until my arm is repaired I won't be able to update this, sorry! If anyone still cares about this silly little story I wrote, you have my thanks! Why not go and read 'The Strain of Living' if you haven't already?   
You too can feel dead inside!

See you when I see you folks! Thanks for being patient!

**Author's Note:**

> This story came from one of the options you can tell Bernie to try and get her to come out of the room. I love that you can lie and say you have cake! ^_^ She sounds so betrayed when she figures you don't actually so I wrote this in which the player does. Everyone wins. Hanneman and Manuela arguing was fun to write a well, and of course Claude gets a look in because he's the best.
> 
> Mainly a fluffy fic I wanted to write, because why not, Bernie is the best gal! Her personal skill is also great fun! This ended up being more slowburn than I thought


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